Sunday, December 19, 2010

Flamingo Break-Up Letter

The above is a photo of Fernando (front, center) at his "mental health retreat" last summer. 

The below is letter from Fernando the Florida Flamingo to his boyfriend Arturo, upon Fernando’s decision to end the relationship.

Dear Arturo,

I hate you.   I hate everything about you.  I hate the way you won’t acknowledge me in public.  I hate that you spend so much time in that dank, cramped closet.

I hate your deep, soulful eyes, and the way you don’t look at me the same with them anymore. 

I hate that you made me change for you.  I hate that I spent all my winter savings buying you that hideous Christmas scarf you wanted so much.  I hate how you look better in it than me.

I hate that we don’t talk anymore.  I hate that we never talked. I hate that you never said a goddamn word to me.

Most of all I hate that you are plastic.  I hope you melt in hell.


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