Sunday, April 17, 2011

A Note Left By A Gang of Artistic Dust-Mites Who've Been Living Inside Your Computer

The above is the first artwork known to have been produced by The League of Artistic Dust-Mites.

Below is their manifesto calling for the end of technology and the resurgence of "L'art pour l'art."

Dear Computer User/Landlord/Sheep:

Let us introduce ourselves! We are a bohemian troupe of highly evolved and singularly creative dust-mites.  We are visual and performance artists hellbent on universal recognition and respect in the human art community.  For months now your Mac Pro tower has been both our cozy home and our studio.  Do you like what we've done with the place?  It's a mix media artwork comprised of hard drive, magnets, white-out, desire, and oil paint.  It's avant-garde.

As dust-mites, we've had a unique perspective to observe you and your kind acting as slaves to these powerful, humming boxes.  Our art installation, "Dust-Mite, Lust-Night, Computer Prison Edenville," will change not only the way the world views performance art -- but also change how civilization understands technology -- but even moreover, change how man regards dust-mite. Change! Change! Change!

We dust-mites we be marginalized no more! This is our artistic manifesto!  We are taking over. Dust-mite by dust-mite. Computer by computer...

Behold the onset of the bohemian dust-mite revolution!


The League of Artistic Dust-Mites

Sunday, April 10, 2011

Letter from a Fraudulent Frog-Prince

The above is a homo-sapien-obsessed and -- dare I mention -- sexually promiscuous tree frog.  Just look how he shoves his junk against the glass like that.  For shame.

The below is this tree frog's attempt to exploit popular fairytales as a means to get sweet lovin' from as many human ladies as possible.

Dear Sexy Women of the World,

It is I, Prince Luigi Francisco Leroy McCallahan, IV.  I hail from the rich, although obscure (you've probably never heard of it), principality of Notafrogtopia.

Would you believe it, the thing they warn you about in the storybooks happened to me! I got cursed by an evil, ugly-ass witch.  I was once the handsome, rich, studly heir to my country's throne. Then I got caught in some mystical crossfire and now I've been turned into a beast: a pint-sized warty green tree frog. Alas, alack.

I beg you, I beseech you, oh fine ladies of the world.  Kiss me!  Make me a prince again.  And then I will take you to my kingdom---what did I say it's name was---oh yeah---Notafrogtopia and you will be my queen.

So just come on over, lean down, and plant a wet one on my quivering froggy lips.

Your kingdom awaits!

Frog  Prince Luigi Francisco Leroy McCallahan, IV